Got I love this site.
May. 27th, 2009 11:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drazukiFrom "extsfromlastnight.com":
(602): 69 |D_O
(1-602): wtf does that mean??
(602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
...I am so using this now.
(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
(302): Who goes to Church hungover
(717): Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
(201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(201): Tie
(434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
(540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
(BEST ONE EVER) (209): dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
(602): 69 |D_O
(1-602): wtf does that mean??
(602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
...I am so using this now.
(843): the red head has a bf
(1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time?
(1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that
(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
(302): Who goes to Church hungover
(717): Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
(201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
(908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
(201): Tie
(434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
(540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
(BEST ONE EVER) (209): dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
(724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
(858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
(913): I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
(734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
(1-734): what was she crying about?
(734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
(789): If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
(847): just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The ones below are from my area code:
(805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
(...I'm almost positive this might have come from a DnD session of mine. Almost.) (805): So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
(724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
(858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
(913): I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
(734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
(1-734): what was she crying about?
(734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
(789): If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
(847): just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The ones below are from my area code:
(805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
(...I'm almost positive this might have come from a DnD session of mine. Almost.) (805): So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
